Why is it that the scarier a band tries to make itself out to be, the more laughable they become?

Take Kovenant, for example. These guys are supposed to be persona non grata in some areas of Europe, spreading messages of doom and gloom wrapped up in a merge of industrial and black metal.

After listening to their latest offering Animatronics, I've got only two words for Psy Coma and crew: Yeah, right.

This Norweigan trio - bassist/vocalist Coma, guitarist Lex Icon and drummer Von Blomberg - is barely recognizable due to the layering of metal madness and keyboard-laden weirdness that populates this disc. As for the lyrics - half the time I couldn't make out a thing that Coma was singing.

Wait - that's not entirely true. One track on this disc - "New World Order" - actually is quite listenable and enjoyable, and gave me some hope that the bulk of Animatronic would follow suit. Alas, this wasn't to be.

Tracks like "Sindrom," "Jihad," "In The Name Of The Future" and "The Birth Of Tragedy" all are weighed down, in one part, by overambition on the part of Kovenant. Somehow, I think that if the band had stuck to one musical formula, be it industrial or black metal, then Animatronic would have been a more solid album to listen to. But when you try to cover too many bases, you spread yourself too thin, and something eventually has to give.

And another thing, guys. You can drop the messages of the apocalypse, at least for the time being. After we got through the media event known as Y2K, I think that most people are a little more wary about predictions that the world is going to turn into a toilet. Cripes, it's almost at the point where if Jesus came back to Earth, we'd be demanding to see some I.D. So I think we can dispense with the futuristic-freakazoid mumbo-jumbo, at least for a while, okay?

Animatronics is supposed to be a disturbing portrait of the future that we're all headed towards. If this disc is a picture of how music will sound 20 years from now, I promise that I'll be running for the exits with my cyanide suicide pill.

Rating: D

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