Cream Streets


J-Bird Records, 2001

REVIEW BY: Christopher Thelen


Memo to Don Argott: You still haven't learned, have you?

When I reviewed Pornosonic: Unreleased 70s Porno Music some time ago, one of the few complaints I had about the disc was that the music sounded far too clean to have been pulled from the dusty reels hidden in someone's basement behind the stewed tomatoes. The music needed a real layer of grit to it, even if the songs were recorded in the correct style (and those in the know got the joke behind the project).

Now, Argott and his crew return, bearing Pornosonic almost as a band name. Cream Streets claims to be the soundtrack to an unreleased movie, almost guaranteeing that someone with a mind sicker than mine (and with more extra spending money) will undoubtedly try to shoot a film around this music. (Another memo to Argott: Can I be in on the action? If that little shit from my_heart_sings_the_harmony_web_ad_alt_250 The Toy can get parallel in a real porno, why can't I? Oh, yeah, that's right... I'm married.)

It's a bold project that Argott undertakes - and he doesn't quite succeed this time.

Problem number one is quite simple, having seen a pornographic movie or two in my college days: These kind of films should never, ever, ever have a plot. Granted, most of the music on Cream Streets would probably be used for the, aah, "action" scenes, but Argott almost tries too hard to let the listener know what's going on in the imaginary film by the song titles.

Problem number two: Remember that layer of sonic grit I referred to in this review? Cream Streets is lacking it. So, while you have songs like "Dick Goes Down," "Peach Pie" and "Deep Inside Peach" (anyone wanna bet I could never review this disc if I wrote for the Chicago Tribune just 'cause of the titles?) that sound like they could legitimately be pulled from a vintage '70s skin flick, they sound... well, too 2001. The recording is pristine, even with vintage instruments being used. It lacks believability on that end, just because it sounds so clean.

Problem number three: Argott actually gets a little too cute on Cream Streets, coming up (cripes, the things that could be taken out of context in a review like this) with a ficticious trailer for the movie. I hate to say this, but "Cream Streets Trailer" sounds more like something that could come from a "blaxploitation" movie from that era. I remember once hearing as a child a promo for a movie called A Hero Ain't Nothin' But A Sandwich, and this track reminded me of that. I never thought I'd say this, but... bring back Ron Jeremy to do some of the voice-overs. If any album actually called for his expertise, this would be the one.

It's not that Argott and crew failed on Cream Streets, but it does sound like he's trying a little too hard to re-create the magic that was the original Pornosonic disc. There's no doubt that Argott can pull it off; musically, he knows the style of '70s mattress-rockin' funk and has the style down perfectly. Cream Streets is a satisfactory, if slightly disappointing, follow-up.

Rating: C

User Rating: Not Yet Rated



© 2001 Christopher Thelen and The Daily Vault. All rights reserved. Review or any portion may not be reproduced without written permission. Cover art is the intellectual property of J-Bird Records, and is used for informational purposes only.