Pornosonic: Unreleased 70s Porno Music


J-Bird Records, 2000

REVIEW BY: Christopher Thelen


Just like any music fan, I get excited about the arrival of certain discs on the marketplace. But I can't really explain why I was so eager to get my review copy of Pornosonic: Unreleased 70s Porno Music. Anyone who has watched movies from this genre will freely admit you don't rent these things for the soundtrack.

Whatever the case, I discovered a hidden danger to this disc. After spending an evening listening to this disc for review, something clicked in my brain, and I had an idea. When my wife came home from work, I met her at the door wearing my silk robe, a glass of champagne in my hand, and this disc blaring in the background. I then asked her, in the best bass voice I could muster up, if she wanted to get freaky.

I've been sleeping on the couch for the last three nights. But I digress.

my_heart_sings_the_harmony_web_ad_alt_250 Pornosonic, to be truthful, doesn't sound like the music on these 10 tracks are really pulled from '70s porn flicks, for one good reason - the tracks sound too clean. I'd have had an easier time believing that this was the real thing if the tracks sounded like they had a layer of sonic grit on them, as if they had just been pulled from the vault of some studio.

To rectify this problem, I prepared to listen to the disc a second time - only now, I had playing on the TV (with the sound turned off) a pornographic videotape. Hit "play" on the CD...

Ahh, okay, now it fits the mood. (Parents, you may now uncover your little ones' eyes.)

Minor complaint number two: The tunes themselves are just far too short for the, aah, subject matter involved. I've seen a porno or two in my time, and I know that the musical accompaniment is much longer than three or four minutes. I would have found this a little more believable if the jams were stretched out a bit more. (While we're at it, the disc clocks in at only 32 minutes - I'd have appreciated a little more leng... aah, music on this disc. Geez, it's amazing how you have to watch what you say in a review like this.)

All of this said, Pornosonic is not meant to be a historical snapshot of another side of American cinema and its music. If anything, it's meant to revel in the true pleasure of this style of music - namely, r&b-laden funk that lays down a solid groove. In this regard, main songwriter/guitarist Don Argott accomplishes his mission.

Whether it's "Dick Dagger's Theme" or "Nice N Sleazy Does It" blaring from your speakers during the party, this is the kind of disc that will send your little wing-ding into a 360-degree turn towards fun. Although the voice-overs of real-life porn star Ron Jeremy ("A relaxed ass is a happy ass"... give me a fuckin' break) and the occasional sound bite from the film genre in question might occasionally bring conversation to a screeching halt, the overall groove of this disc is sure to be what is remembered.

Pornosonic might not be an album that will help you "get jiggy with it" - although your results might be different from mine. As a marital aid, this disc might provide you with some fun. As a party conversation piece, you'll be talked about for days at the water cooler. As an album - it's not bad at all.

Rating: B

User Rating: Not Yet Rated



© 2000 Christopher Thelen and The Daily Vault. All rights reserved. Review or any portion may not be reproduced without written permission. Cover art is the intellectual property of J-Bird Records, and is used for informational purposes only.