Circle Of Death

Dance Club Massacre

Black Market Activities, 2008

http://danceclubmassacre.bandcamp.com

REVIEW BY: Pete Crigler

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: 05/07/2020

This was one of the albums I checked out when I worked for a now defunct site called punbands.com. From time to time, I like to go back and revisit some of this stuff, in this case to get some laughs. And, boy, did they come in spades on this monstrosity.

Right away, from the ridiculous looking cover art, one knows there’s going to be weird and awful things from this band. And from the horror-movie sounding organ at the beginning of “Risk Is My Business...And Business Is Risky” to the screeching, almost unbearable vocals of Nick Seger, that's all that’s here. The music sounds the same as any other European-influenced metal band, except that these guys are from Chicago and, boy, did they suck. If you can make it through “Brewtality,” I have to tip my cap to you because this is just unbearable garbage. Just try and listen to the ‘vocals' at the beginning of “Ode To The Barracuda” where Nick sounds like he’s belching and then incessantly screaming; it only gets more laughable from there. To think that there was a time when people were heavily into this shit and would buy these records and go see these shows only to be both bludgeoned and deafened is enough to throw someone into a laughing fit. my_heart_sings_the_harmony_web_ad_alt_250

The drumming on "Shenanigans" sounds so fast that it could've been processed through a computer...and the song doesn't even have one good thing to recommend because it's all been heard a thousand times before anyway. The keyboards during the instrumental "Return Of The Blood Monsters" sound a bit like Roddy Bottum of Faith No More meets Dimmu Borgir/Cradle of Filth, which is mildly interesting.

Let’s face it, this album really has nothing to redeem itself from awfulness. For anyone looking for music to clear the room at a party, congratulations, you have found the perfect record. A close look at the lyrics will reveal one thing: the band likes to drink and party and that's about it. My question is, when one can't even understand the lyrics, what the hell is the point of writing them? In the end, this is one of those albums that comes along that's just so bad you have to sit back and laugh at the awfulness of it. As a final warning, the unlisted bonus track is a twenty-seven minute version of “99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall.” Prepare for pain!

Rating: F

User Rating: Not Yet Rated


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