Back in 1989, when I first heard As Nasty As They Wanna Be from 2 Live Crew, I found that album to be hilarious - who would take this stuff seriously?

Obviously, the answer is clear: 2 Live Crew took it seriously enough to stretch male braggadoccio into a second album, Sports Weekend (As Nasty As They Wanna Be Part II). And if the first album in the series was just a collection of dirty jokes put to rap, then I have a message for Luther Campbell and crew: the joke is not only over, it's getting really old.

Long after their legal troubles in Broward County, Florida left the headlines and the shock over the constant talking about boning women in the ass (among other pleasantries), the basic premise is still the same. 2 Live Crew member meets girl, 2 Live Crew member screws girl, 2 Live Crew member sings about it, peppering the song with so many vulgarities that even Andrew "Dice" Clay might blush. (As open of a household as I have, this is one album I reviewed with headphones to prevent my two-year-old daughter from hearing.)

But while As Nasty As They Wanna Be was shockingly funny for the bluntness of the boasts, Sports Weekend is just plain boring. There's only so many times you can hear the word "fuck" before it becomes less shocking and more of an annoyance - just like the constant bombardment of nudity in Showgirls, after a while you find yourself wishing that the women would put their bras back on.

Oh, sure, there are the few (and I mean few) moments where Sports Weekend is okay, such as the now-traditional Campbell piss-on-the-critics section "I Ain't Bullshittin' III" (where - egads! - he declared Vanilla Ice to be okay). But album after album Campbell and crew have done the come-ons for some type of sex ("Baby Baby Please") or the "my-schlong-is-bigger-than-yours" name-calling shit ("Ain't No Pussy"). Luke, c'mon, man to man... it's old, already. Find a new road to plow. (Let's be real: after talking about freaky, anal sex, is 2 Live Crew really the best band to do a song about safe sex and condom use? That's about as believable as Marilyn Manson running for a school board position.)

And frankly, it's been my experience that the more someone talks about getting laid, the less sex they're really getting in real life, the members of Aerosmith and Kiss excepted. (Me? Let's be realistic... I'm a critic, and critics don't get any lovin'.) So, if you apply the Thelen Principle of Porking to 2 Live Crew, their idea of getting lucky is jerking off to a hard-R movie on Cinemax.

Critics, put down your keyboards; I have nothing against rap (or even music with foul language in it). Rap, in my opinion, is a beautiful musical form when it's performed correctly. 2 Live Crew prove on Sports Weekend that they're not even in the ballpark. Not even the Chicago Bears are this bad off - and anyone who knows me well knows my strong feelings about the Bears, Bill Gates and the Olsen Twins. (But I've said too much already.)

Sports Weekend is a fumble on the goal line in the world of rap, a slider in the cajones, missed free throw after missed free throw. Throw in the towel on this album... 'cause Campbell sure should have a long time ago.

Rating: D-

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