Aquarium

Aqua

MCA Records, 1997

http://www.aquaofficial.com

REVIEW BY: Tommy Johnson

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: 04/11/2002

I got a headache. A big one. I guess I got myself to blame since I decided to review this album by the Norwegian / Danish group Aqua. As a Swede, I'm more than proud to say that there's no Swedes involved.

This is not a bad album. It's tasteless and downright awful.

In which genre should you place this band? I've heard it all: Energetic, Fun, Gleeful, Theatrical, Silly, Stylish, Carefree, Party, Celebratory. But if you play this at your party, I can assure you that the only persons left in your room will be yourself and a guy who gives you funny looks.

Aquarium has sold about 7 million copies. A band member explained it's success like this; "I think people were a bit fed up with all this depressing grunge and Britpop and rap music. People wanted happy pop songs."my_heart_sings_the_harmony_web_ad_alt_250

Obviously they were right. And obviously they sold their hearts and souls to pay the bills.

It's cute. Really cute. The melodies are catchy and the lyrics are just about as vacant as they could possibly get. It all feels as if they're taken from an episode of "My Little Pony". But "My Little Pony" doesn't top the sales charts. This album did. Now, how in the world is that possible?

"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world". That's probably the best way to describe this mess. Barbie Music in a Barbie World. Music veterans that has been playing music since they were 10, don't get record deals anymore. But music like this do. Scandal. "If you got more than three chords in your song- you're jazz", an L.A musician once said. Aqua ain't Jazz. I think that we all can agree on that. Everyone wants fame, and 15 minutes isn't enough anymore. It doesn't matter how you get it; you could either sell yourself on Ebay, or you could make an album like this. Both works. But it's nothing I would mention in my biography.

While listening to this "piece of art", I thought that my newly purchased CD-player was defective. "I just listened to this tune", I thought to myself more than once. I'm afraid that that wasn't the case. Aquarium is about as varied as "The Bold And The Beautiful".

Mattel, the makers of Barbie weren't too thrilled with the sexually suggestive lyrics of "Barbie Girl", so they filed a suit against the record company. I guess that lyrics such as "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere, imagination, life is your creation" is 'suit material'. It all depends on which way you twist it. However, I don't think it is that deep. As Ty Webb once said "A flute without holes is not a flute, a donut without holes is a danish".

Aquarium is a leftover from the late 90's with an expiration date that is long-passed. I hope no one will ever touch this again. It can't be healthy. C'mon, do something funnier for your money. Buy a bunch of walking sticks or something.

And by the way - It didn't float.

Rating: F

User Rating: Not Yet Rated


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© 2002 Tommy Johnson and The Daily Vault. All rights reserved. Review or any portion may not be reproduced without written permission. Cover art is the intellectual property of MCA Records, and is used for informational purposes only.